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All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.



The Entertainment Director

2/10/2016

1 Comment

 
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Man I was tired. I had just seen five kids in a row, including two hyper little animals that took all my energy to (hopefully) do some good work with. It was one of those exhaustions that you can hardly move your jaw to speak. It was finally time to head home (a very short commute, fortunately), and as I pulled in the driveway, there was my eleven year old son waiting for me with a basketball tucked under his arm. I was so tired. I thought: “son, don’t you have any friends? Do I always have to be your entertainment director?” Of course, I would never say such a thing, but I was worn out to the bone. I told him we needed to have supper first, hoping I could find a tiny drop of energy in the meantime. During supper I mentally recounted the five kids I had just seen. It then occurred to me that something was all screwed up with my priorities if I expended all of my time, creativity and energy with everyone else’s kids, and then I stiff my own kids. What’s wrong wit dat picture? I either needed to reduce the energy I put into my counseling kids so I’d have more when I get home, or I needed to create new energy once I got home. We know that during a long workday, if we take a break, we have to restart ourselves to get up to speed again. Going home was no different, except being a good father was way more important than restarting myself back when I was a busboy. So that’s what I started doing: mentally creating energy for my family. Wear me out willya? Perhaps not. Now, many years later, and clearly less stamina, I wish for the same experience with my grandsons. I have a vision: when they are here for a visit, they crawl across the floor, dragging themselves exhaustedly towards their beds, begging to finally get to sleep after an amazing day with us. It doesn’t always happen exactly like that, but I sure would like it to.
So what to do about our kid’s needing us for memories, for inspiration, for an example of how they might want to be someday as a parent? Most families I know use the wonder of electronics as their kid’s entertainment director. TV, video, and phones are the staple of most busy parents way of keeping their kid’s occupied. All are good, but to replace you as their entertainment director? Dude – get a job. The job. Work hard for your employers, but don’t forget your loyalties to your family. It’s two jobs, and really, what else are you going to do with your time? Watch TV? I have a better idea.



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1 Comment
JB
3/15/2016 04:50:39 pm

And this is exactly what I'm talking about. What energy am I (or my spouse) using for our family vs what we use for self and work? On this day, I'm afraid work and self always wins. Maybe you've hit on something to explore and research........

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    All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.

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