OK, so here’s the deal: kids are kids. Dealing with raising boys and girls is usually about the same in their early days. Nevertheless, some differences are apparent, at least through the eyes of a kid counselor. How so in counseling you might ask? Boys seem to process information better when they are doing something. Girls usually would like to sit and talk. Girls are often times “deeper” than their boy counterparts, as they are typically more introspective and expressive. Boys need to be helped along in a heavy conversation, girls need less prompting.
On a practical parenting note, boys respond to expectations or commands from a parent when there is physical reminder that you have given them an instruction. As an example, a highly capable grandmother was perturbed that her seven year old grandson was dismissing her bicycling rules. She had told him he had full reign of the yard and big driveway, and, a little reluctantly, told him he could bike down the alley as far as the second dumpster (about 75 yards down the alley). He instantly added on another thirty yards. She had to reprimand him a number of times, and was saddened by his apparent lack of respect. Boiling it down to its essence, she was trying to control the child through verbal warnings. An alternative approach would be to give him his biking limit, step out of view, then reappear at the anticipated time of his breaking the rule. Calmly bringing him back into the garage and suspending biking privileges for ten minutes (“or until I think you can remember what I had said”) is much more effective with boys.
In this sad day of so much single parenting, mothers need to adapt their discipline techniques to more effectively manage boys. Additionally, this is a step in the right direction in teaching boys the extremely important concept of proper respect for women. In the world of discipline, the rule is this: boys respond much better to (calm and logical) consequences than to constant verbal warnings and threats. As noted previously, females are much more verbal than males, so to adapt discipline to a more consequence-based approach is a lot of work. But you know - so what? When was parenting super easy anyway? As we expect our kids to learn, we have to role model learning for them. Ladies? This is not your style? Show your kids you can learn too.
Final note: this is not a politically correct note, but just a reality check. Most genders used here are interchangeable. Some mothers are far better disciplinarians than the fathers are. Also some girls are a far more of the pain in the butt than the boys. Nevertheless, kids need the adults to be in charge, and we should accept the responsibility and improve as we need to. ♫Teach....your children well…♪
On a practical parenting note, boys respond to expectations or commands from a parent when there is physical reminder that you have given them an instruction. As an example, a highly capable grandmother was perturbed that her seven year old grandson was dismissing her bicycling rules. She had told him he had full reign of the yard and big driveway, and, a little reluctantly, told him he could bike down the alley as far as the second dumpster (about 75 yards down the alley). He instantly added on another thirty yards. She had to reprimand him a number of times, and was saddened by his apparent lack of respect. Boiling it down to its essence, she was trying to control the child through verbal warnings. An alternative approach would be to give him his biking limit, step out of view, then reappear at the anticipated time of his breaking the rule. Calmly bringing him back into the garage and suspending biking privileges for ten minutes (“or until I think you can remember what I had said”) is much more effective with boys.
In this sad day of so much single parenting, mothers need to adapt their discipline techniques to more effectively manage boys. Additionally, this is a step in the right direction in teaching boys the extremely important concept of proper respect for women. In the world of discipline, the rule is this: boys respond much better to (calm and logical) consequences than to constant verbal warnings and threats. As noted previously, females are much more verbal than males, so to adapt discipline to a more consequence-based approach is a lot of work. But you know - so what? When was parenting super easy anyway? As we expect our kids to learn, we have to role model learning for them. Ladies? This is not your style? Show your kids you can learn too.
Final note: this is not a politically correct note, but just a reality check. Most genders used here are interchangeable. Some mothers are far better disciplinarians than the fathers are. Also some girls are a far more of the pain in the butt than the boys. Nevertheless, kids need the adults to be in charge, and we should accept the responsibility and improve as we need to. ♫Teach....your children well…♪
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