I am writing you because I am so depressed. My Grandmother died a year ago, and I have really had a hard time with it. A few weeks ago I went over to a friend’s house, and she was making cookies for her kids. Every time I smell cookies cooking, especially sugar cookies, I think about making cookies with Grammy. I got so sad, I had to leave my friend’s house crying. To make matters worse, I was using a cheap mascara, so when I got home, my face looked awful and a little scary. It was terrible. I miss her so much, and remembering that I had her arrested a few months before she died makes me even more sad. What can I do to stop being so depressed?
Cookie
Dear Cookie,
First let me say I really like your name, especially in light of your letter. I am sorry for the death of your grandmother. She sounds like she was a very different kind of involved grandparent. Try a new strategy to help you: stop trying to not be sad. Work at enjoying thinking back about memorable experiences with her. Get a friend or good family member to exchange stories about her. Be grateful that your suffering means you had wonderful memories with her. I mean, except for having her arrested of course…. I could use an additional note about that one.