Once upon a time there was an eight year old princess. And she had a nice seven year old brother. But they had a problem. They had an “issue”. And to make matters more confusing, so did ten million other kids (an exaggeration no doubt). The issue was peeing the bed at night. Mom said “oh dear, whatever shall we do?” Dad said, “they’re doing it because their too lazy to get up at night, so they’d rather sleep in their own pee.” Then one evening, after the kids were in bed, the news channel mom and dad incessantly watched at night blanked out, and the image of a kind fairy appeared. To their amazement she floated out of the screen and, in a rather high-pitched voice said, “Mother, fear not, for I have an answer for you. Then she floated over to the father and said, “Father, you are mistaking your opinion as a fact. You are kind of a knucklehead. So you both pay attention now and I will show you some magic.” So she waved her wand and a notepad and pen appeared in both parents’ hands. Then she said, “take notes and follow your instructions or I will turn you both into frogs. The kids have untrained bladders. It is solely your responsibility to train them. Here’s how:”
1. Tell the kids it is no longer a problem if they wet the bed. You can save the mattress with a plastic cover and keep a change of sheets and pj’s nearby. Here’s how you assume the responsibility:
2. Every night you kinda wake the kids up and walk them to the bathrooms. The boys typically need to be held up to increase their aim. Then tuck them back into bed.
3. In the beginning you will miss catching them in time. You can approximate how long ago they peed, and take note of just when you need to take them in the future. It’s also the perfect opportunity to prove to them you meant it when you said it wasn’t a problem. Forget about having them take a shower that night. For heaven’s sake, pee’s pretty lightweight. They can change into dry bed clothes and clean up as need be in the morning.
4. Alert them to the fact you want as much cooperation as they can muster when you take them to the bathroom. In other words, “don’t give me any grief when I get you up”. You can privately expect a little resistance, but this reduces a lot of it.
5. If you go to bed right after the kids (?!), you need to set an alarm to wake you up. Night after night, this “bladder forming” takes about six months. If you think this is a lot of labor, keep in mind the work involved in changing the bed, washing the sheets and pajamas, etc., etc. Not to mention it’s never a self esteem builder to be a bed wetter. Follow these steps and the children are usually done with their bed wetting. *Poof*, then the good fairy was gone.
That night the husband said, “I think I was tripping. I only imagined that weird experience”. The children wet their beds that night. The next morning, the mother and father looked in the mirror, and they both had a small toad-like wart on the end of their noses. They both ran for their note pads and reviewed their notes carefully. For the next six months they lovingly took their children to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Six months later: no more bed wetting! And the nose wart disappeared from the mom and the dad. Years later, on their 50th anniversary, they laughingly recounted their experience to their now adult children. Both of the kids thought their parents must have been trippin’, and went home to their own homes to lovingly and patiently raise their own kids.
The End
1. Tell the kids it is no longer a problem if they wet the bed. You can save the mattress with a plastic cover and keep a change of sheets and pj’s nearby. Here’s how you assume the responsibility:
2. Every night you kinda wake the kids up and walk them to the bathrooms. The boys typically need to be held up to increase their aim. Then tuck them back into bed.
3. In the beginning you will miss catching them in time. You can approximate how long ago they peed, and take note of just when you need to take them in the future. It’s also the perfect opportunity to prove to them you meant it when you said it wasn’t a problem. Forget about having them take a shower that night. For heaven’s sake, pee’s pretty lightweight. They can change into dry bed clothes and clean up as need be in the morning.
4. Alert them to the fact you want as much cooperation as they can muster when you take them to the bathroom. In other words, “don’t give me any grief when I get you up”. You can privately expect a little resistance, but this reduces a lot of it.
5. If you go to bed right after the kids (?!), you need to set an alarm to wake you up. Night after night, this “bladder forming” takes about six months. If you think this is a lot of labor, keep in mind the work involved in changing the bed, washing the sheets and pajamas, etc., etc. Not to mention it’s never a self esteem builder to be a bed wetter. Follow these steps and the children are usually done with their bed wetting. *Poof*, then the good fairy was gone.
That night the husband said, “I think I was tripping. I only imagined that weird experience”. The children wet their beds that night. The next morning, the mother and father looked in the mirror, and they both had a small toad-like wart on the end of their noses. They both ran for their note pads and reviewed their notes carefully. For the next six months they lovingly took their children to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Six months later: no more bed wetting! And the nose wart disappeared from the mom and the dad. Years later, on their 50th anniversary, they laughingly recounted their experience to their now adult children. Both of the kids thought their parents must have been trippin’, and went home to their own homes to lovingly and patiently raise their own kids.
The End
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