So, the query might begin, "how, oh wiseguy.... I mean wiseman, can I enhance my marriage? We have no more problems than most, but things are somewhat monotonous and, well, as you might call it: zombie-like. Ideas counselorman?"
Should the question arise, I believe it worth addressing. First of all, our long marriages (long friendships as well) will become somewhat predictable. We should have realistic expectations that all days will not be like our beginning days of falling in love. That being said, we must be cautious not to use that reality as an excuse for lack of creativity and work. There are things we did naturally, and with no effort in our beginning days that have been forgotten due to complacency. For example, she may get looking mighty snappy as she departs for work, but rarely gets extra snappy looking for her husband (and obviously, vice versa). He used to tuck in his shirt and comb his hair before he arrived home. In our dating days, we used to want to give a good impression to our date, but we get used to each other, and don't think about it.
So here's the idea: [sometimes] I'll drive home from work and start pretending I am heading over to this cute, curly-haired girl's house for my second date with her. She's invited me for supper, and has told me I can just park next to her in the garage. Cool. When I go in the back door, I can smell she's been cooking something up for me. Again: cool. After all, she's been working today, same as me, but she hurried home to make something for me. Yow! She's happy to see me, and I greet her with a kiss. This is almost too good to be true. If this really was our second date, how amazing would this be? How would I show my appreciation? Help her clean the kitchen afterwards? Sit around that evening and talk and talk and talk? Now we have to be grateful on purpose, and you know, why on earth would that be a big deal? It's not pretend, it's only a fun little game to do once in a while. And, as a bonus, you only need one player. And you can keep it to yourself. As a matter of fact, you probably should. As marriage enhancers go, this one's free. And fun.
Should the question arise, I believe it worth addressing. First of all, our long marriages (long friendships as well) will become somewhat predictable. We should have realistic expectations that all days will not be like our beginning days of falling in love. That being said, we must be cautious not to use that reality as an excuse for lack of creativity and work. There are things we did naturally, and with no effort in our beginning days that have been forgotten due to complacency. For example, she may get looking mighty snappy as she departs for work, but rarely gets extra snappy looking for her husband (and obviously, vice versa). He used to tuck in his shirt and comb his hair before he arrived home. In our dating days, we used to want to give a good impression to our date, but we get used to each other, and don't think about it.
So here's the idea: [sometimes] I'll drive home from work and start pretending I am heading over to this cute, curly-haired girl's house for my second date with her. She's invited me for supper, and has told me I can just park next to her in the garage. Cool. When I go in the back door, I can smell she's been cooking something up for me. Again: cool. After all, she's been working today, same as me, but she hurried home to make something for me. Yow! She's happy to see me, and I greet her with a kiss. This is almost too good to be true. If this really was our second date, how amazing would this be? How would I show my appreciation? Help her clean the kitchen afterwards? Sit around that evening and talk and talk and talk? Now we have to be grateful on purpose, and you know, why on earth would that be a big deal? It's not pretend, it's only a fun little game to do once in a while. And, as a bonus, you only need one player. And you can keep it to yourself. As a matter of fact, you probably should. As marriage enhancers go, this one's free. And fun.
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