Plenty of parents would like to drop off their kids at the counselor's office, not unlike the dry cleaners, and come back to pick up their clean and lightly starched kid. Amazingly, some times that works. However, logically, it seems like parents should realize in order to get their kids to change, they need to make some adjustments as well. Unless I'm in a crisis situation, I normally insist on seeing the parent(s) first. Then, if I get my way, I'll see the parent once every four or five visits from their child. I also need current info. I encourage parents to call or email me information about how their kid is doing (good and bad). I do not let parents ream out their kid in my office, as it messes up my credibility as a neutral "friend". I will certainly take a stand on issues, but privately with the kid.
None of this addresses the "how to counsel kids" technique, but who wants to read a blog that's too dang long? Coming up, hopefully sooner than not, I will address a couple of ideas, including my I-ought-to-copywrite-it idea of uncommon responses. Stay tuned....