Please note: my lack of contribution to the essays is in the heading of "Essays" only. After the last one listed here, I began to post essays, short and long (although rarely long) on the "Blog" heading. They are indexed a little on the lower bottom right of the Blog page. I hope you find them worth reading.
Essays
John Sommer is a storyteller in addition to being a counselor, photographer, husband, father and grandfather. He enjoys the written word, and celebrates the tradition of sharing life experiences and learning through passing on the significant events in his life. Below are a selection of his essays that he shares in the hope to stimulate further thoughts on important topics.
All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.
All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.
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Reframing: The Art of Looking Deeper
A look at the art of "altering an aggravation into something meaningful" through continual practice. This is a technique that John uses with his patients and finds to be very successful in many cases. While not applicable to every situation, this way of easing tension and looking for other explanations of behavior can help turn some difficult situations in a relationship -- whether husband/wife, parent/child, or other -- into cherished moments and fond memories. Read the essay...
The Incredible Absorbing Man
Working in any environment provides a very specific atmosphere influenced by the other employees, customers or clients, location and activities involved. Early in his career as a bartender ("arguably my first counseling job"), John learns that one must never become "The Incredible Absorbing Man" and succumb to the moral decisions, values or even specific tastes of those who surround you. Read the essay...
The Little Old Man Stuck in My Head
After a close listen to Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" in the '70s, John realized that he never wants to be someone who "don't know what he's got 'till it's gone". He developed what he calls "a little old man" voice in his head as a way to remind himself to do what he needs to do and happily avoid a life full of regrets. Read the essay...
Fathers and Daughters
It is the ultimate Daddy Fear (Mama’s as well): You hear through the grapevine that your sweet thirteen year old daughter is seeing a nineteen year old boy. Two worlds of maturity and relationship expectations collide. Few parents, if any, wish for such an occurrence. Read the essay...
The Entertainment Director
Man I was tired. I had just seen five kids in a row, including two hyper little animals that took all my energy to (hopefully) do some good work with. It was one of those exhaustions that you can hardly move your jaw to speak. It was finally time to head home (a very short commute, fortunately), and as I pulled in the driveway, there was my eleven year old son waiting for me with a basketball tucked under his arm. I was so tired. I thought: “son, don’t you have any friends? Do I always have to be your entertainment director?” Read the essay...
The Lobster Tale
As I was penning the lobster story, I was amazed that I was simultaneously reminiscing about my vacation in St. Kitts and visiting with my father in the back kitchen of our Holiday House banquet room when I was a teenager. After I finished the lobster tale I realized why this memory was rekindled: it’s a similar theme separated by twenty years. Even today, both examples continue to provide me guidance. Read the essay...
A look at the art of "altering an aggravation into something meaningful" through continual practice. This is a technique that John uses with his patients and finds to be very successful in many cases. While not applicable to every situation, this way of easing tension and looking for other explanations of behavior can help turn some difficult situations in a relationship -- whether husband/wife, parent/child, or other -- into cherished moments and fond memories. Read the essay...
The Incredible Absorbing Man
Working in any environment provides a very specific atmosphere influenced by the other employees, customers or clients, location and activities involved. Early in his career as a bartender ("arguably my first counseling job"), John learns that one must never become "The Incredible Absorbing Man" and succumb to the moral decisions, values or even specific tastes of those who surround you. Read the essay...
The Little Old Man Stuck in My Head
After a close listen to Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" in the '70s, John realized that he never wants to be someone who "don't know what he's got 'till it's gone". He developed what he calls "a little old man" voice in his head as a way to remind himself to do what he needs to do and happily avoid a life full of regrets. Read the essay...
Fathers and Daughters
It is the ultimate Daddy Fear (Mama’s as well): You hear through the grapevine that your sweet thirteen year old daughter is seeing a nineteen year old boy. Two worlds of maturity and relationship expectations collide. Few parents, if any, wish for such an occurrence. Read the essay...
The Entertainment Director
Man I was tired. I had just seen five kids in a row, including two hyper little animals that took all my energy to (hopefully) do some good work with. It was one of those exhaustions that you can hardly move your jaw to speak. It was finally time to head home (a very short commute, fortunately), and as I pulled in the driveway, there was my eleven year old son waiting for me with a basketball tucked under his arm. I was so tired. I thought: “son, don’t you have any friends? Do I always have to be your entertainment director?” Read the essay...
The Lobster Tale
As I was penning the lobster story, I was amazed that I was simultaneously reminiscing about my vacation in St. Kitts and visiting with my father in the back kitchen of our Holiday House banquet room when I was a teenager. After I finished the lobster tale I realized why this memory was rekindled: it’s a similar theme separated by twenty years. Even today, both examples continue to provide me guidance. Read the essay...