John S. Sommer Counseling
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Baseball Catch

1/18/2017

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I have been asked to present a few more parent-child notes. So I present to you a game, and frankly, fun one: Baseball Catch. I know, I know, football season is still rolling, and I expect a potential flood of depressed Dallas Cowboy fans any day now. Still, America's Game (baseball) is just around the corner. So here's how the game goes:
Supplies:
1 baseball or softball
2 people (at least), preferably an adult* and child (or children)
1 baseball glove per person
1 yard without a lot of rocks or holes
* the adult must do a fun play-by-play with every play
 
The Rules:
Stand apart in the yard. The distance should be intelligently calculated by the adult to be appropriate for the age of the child. The first person, usually the parent, plays the imaginary role of a batter AND a baseman. The parent throws the ball in numerous ways to the child (smooth grounder, choppy grounder, fly ball, etc.), then magically becomes the baseman. The object is to throw the batter out and get three outs. Then the kid does the same thing to the parent. Back and forth.
 
So here's what it sounds like:
"Nobody on, nobody out. The first hit is a grounder to Adele. She scoops it up perfectly and fires it back to Daddy! Yeeeeeeer OUT! One away. Batter two comes to the plate. It's a mile high fly ball! She's under it. No sweat. Fielded nicely. Two out. It's a choppy grounder! She bobbles the ball, but fires it to first! Safe! Tie base goes to the runner. There's a woman on first, two away. It's a very slow grounder! Adele runs up to it, fires it to second for the force out. Yeeeeer OUT! Three away, and Adele's at bat."
 
The kids normally don't do the animated announcing, so the parent can even do it when the kid is "at bat". Any "hit" that was not particularly playable is a foul ball. There are a handful of things accomplished by playing a game like this. It's a self esteem builder, as they are guaranteed to improve with practice at home. The kids learn the rules of the game like tie base, or a force out, or how to turn a double play. And, perhaps most importantly, you are creating a powerful bond with your child by excitedly playing with them. Mothers, don't forget, just because you haven't played in a long time, many of you were excited, fun-loving softball players when you were younger. Don't have a glove anymore? Go buy yourself a good one. They are about the price of two or three tanks full of gas for your minivans. Better get after it, as time slips away like water through your fingers. You're almost out of time.

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Burnout: The Game

1/2/2017

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It happened to me recently, in the middle of playing a destruction derby-type game with four highly motivated eight-and-under grandkids. "Burnout 2" has a sub-game simply called "Crash". And that's what you do: crash. Whoever accumulates the most amount of vehicular carnage wins. After getting started, I left the room for about five minutes, and upon my return, they were bored with it. I expressed my  discontent that I had yet to play, so they were going to have to wait for my turn. So I did my normal "play-by-play", and it went something like this: "Pa's hit the turbo button and he's almost out of control! Oh no! He's airborne! Look out 18-wheeler! Aiiieee! That's gonna hurt! Bus, move quickly! Oh no! It's a huge pileup! Cars everywhere!!" Then everybody got the crazyman play by play. The boys were jumping out of their skins. Later, I had to finally announce there was only one turn apiece left in order to finally quit the game.

This fun activity got me reminiscing later that evening. As my youngest child is about to be 35, it's been a great number of years since I was playing with my kids. But upon reflection I realized that I've always done it like that. "Justin's got the ball and cuts to the left. He makes a weak long shot and it's a brick! But he rebounds it, cuts in front of Daddy and lands a perfect layup! Score!" And that's just one shot. In retrospect, no wonder the kids couldn't wait to play. However, I never gave it a thought; it's just what you do when you're playing with your kids. But years later I have come to realize, it's not what parents do with their kids. Kids usually play by themselves or with a friend; not with the parent. So besides the obvious entertainment value and the sweet memories created by enthusiastic play with your kids, there are other important lessons to be taught. When a child beats me at a game, I insist they win with class: they need to stick out their paw, shake my hand and say "good game". If they lose, they need to do the same. They are also learning the joy of playing with an adult, a skill they will hopefully bless their children with someday. The tough question arose when I asked two good Daddies if they thought enthusiastic involvement was a teachable attribute, or was it just a personality thing? They were both adamant in their opinion: it was absolutely a teachable skill to teach parents. Who would argue that we want our kids to be skillful, mannerly and appreciative? Not to mention, happy as little birds? Parents, learn how to invent enthusiasm.

John is nearly done with his first essay of two-thousand seventeen! He's excited this may signal the first consistent writing effort of his life! He looks at the keyboard, then up at the monitor: he's done!! Score!"

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    I did NOT like writing stuff in school. However, now that it's voluntary, I like it. I'm still working on that attitude of mine.....

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    All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.

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