Hey John,
 
I am concerned about my nine year old boy. Although he can be outspoken (appropriately) and is not particularly shy, he is, for lack of a better term, kind of a crybaby. I could give you a lot of examples, but the one that bothered me the most was last year at school. For each child who brought a can of food to donate to the poor, the school said they would get a free cookie with their lunch. The teacher who was dispensing the cookies told “Troy” that she didn’t see him bring in a can, and refused him a cookie. He was instantly reduced to tears. Although he didn’t drop to the ground screaming and bawling, he nevertheless found himself crying in front of all his friends. As a (hopefully) properly protective parent, I brought the matter up with the teacher and the principal, and she apologized to him. Still, the damage was done. This is not an isolated incident of him being overly sensitive. What is a parent to do? He’s a remarkable kid: smart, athletic and a good brother to his sister. I just don’t want him spending his life being looked down on by other kids.
Concerned Mamma
 
Dear Ms. Concerned,
I have good news and bad news and good news for you. Good news #1: If you have to pick a character “defect” (out of many) for your son to have, this is perhaps one of the best to have. An extra sensitivity can indeed be a burden to a boy, but the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. These are the guys who compassionately sit at the lunch table with the lonely nerd, help with a struggling classmate in math, and get the reputation as the nicest kid in school. If there is some degree of embarrassment in his future, it sounds like he will be able to balance out his self esteem with his many attributes. Continue to provide your positive inspirations for him. The bad news is that I don’t know how to teach a compassionate, kind kid how to not be sensitive. This is really more of a personality thing rather than a learned attribute. If there were some way to help him “toughen up” a bit, but he had to reduce a great trait at the same time, would you opt for it? Probably not. Additionally, if you fight his fights for him like you mentioned with the cookie monster teacher, be sure to do so rather secretly. We want our children treated properly, but they don’t always need to know we went to bat for them. Good news #2: Although extra sensitivity can be something of a burden as a kid, it is revered as an adult. People like this make for loving fathers and great husbands. Basically: outstanding human beings. You are most fortunate, as is he.

Hey John,
I am a high school senior. I have not dated much in the previous years because I have always had so much to do for school. “Robert” and I starting dating just before the summer of last year. He was my first real boyfriend. We have spent a lot of time with each other. We got pretty physical with each other at the end, but no sex. I have had a problem with depression since middle school. Even with medication, sometimes I get really down. I’ve never been suicidal or anything, but everyone can tell when I’m depressed. When I would get real down, I would confide in him all my sadness. We were together eight months. He texted me last week that he was breaking up with me. He didn’t tell me why, but maybe it was because I told him how sad I was. Now I’m really sad, and I don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Broken Hearted Betty
 
Dear Betts,
First of all (and perhaps least importantly), I hope the next boyfriend isn’t such a featherweight that he’d TEXT you to break up. Sheesh. I hope he begins some testosterone therapy as soon as possible.
Presuming the depression diagnosis was correct, there are so many anti-depressants it’s almost beyond comprehension. Many prescribing doctors are family doctors and not psychiatrists. Although there are many very knowledgeable family practitioners, adolescent anti-depressants are a highly selective sub-group of medications. If you can find a well respected psychiatrist (hereby referred to as a shrink), even out of town, it might be worth your while. At least do a reasonably energetic web search for various anti depressants and ask your doc. If you get a bad regular doc or a shrink, keep looking. There are lots of good physicians.
Lastly, deep relationships are for real. Nevertheless, the reality is, is that it’s a rare day our first serious relationship will be the permanent one. Be sad- you should be. Do know however, we usually eventually recover from sad events. Take a deep breath, have some fun with friends, get re-invested with your dedication to school. Find a good counselor if you need additional assistance. Counselors are typically better than teenage boyfriends about discussing matters of depression. And finally, never fold a relationship with a stinkin’ text message.
Sheesh, what a schmuck.

Hey John,
I have a church issue of sorts. Every Sunday when I go to mass, everyone shakes hands before Mass starts in order to “greet” one another. Later, during the Lord’s Prayer, everyone holds hands. Although I’m not enthusiastic about these practices, it is now a potentially dangerous issue with me. Since I have become ill, I have a compromised immune system. Sharing germs via hand shaking, much less hand holding is well documented. I am not sure what to do about this somewhat new practice in the church. Am I being too sensitive, or, as my friend admonishes me, resistant to change?
Loves God, But Not People’s Hands
 
Dear Loves,
As you refer to the service as the mass, I assume you are talkin’ about being Catholic. I mention this because I have plenty of experience in these practices. When I went back to my hometown parish in Northern California, I was surprised not by the hand holding, but people’s insistence in creating a giant hand-holding chain that crisscrossed across the aisle. It looked like people seemed to think it was poor behavior to not participate in this giant chain of parishioners. I thought only a double amputee would be forgiven for not participating. Also, you have left out the hand shake by the greeters before you actually enter the church. Where this custom originated, I have no idea. Nor do I know how many other types of religions favor “personal contact”. However, it seems like you are in a silent minority, as loads of people seem to love this touchy-feely part of mass. I venture to guess that your local priest would be unreceptive to changing this practice to accommodate a tiny minority. I have observed a number of ways some folks avoid an unwanted touch. Some fold their hands in front of them in a prayer-like position. Others cross their chest with their arms. Still others step out of the church during touching times. In sickly times, when our church sounds like a dang TB clinic, I will hold a handkerchief in my right hand and wave it in a friendly fashion to nearby eager hands. It’s an imposition to church goers who are not comfortable with all the human contact, but as the touching seems to be now deeply imbedded in the mass, the minority non-touchers need to just cleverly adapt. However, don’t let your irritation distract you from the real reason why you are there.

Hey John,
I’ve got an issue with my boyfriend, and I’m not sure if it’s me being too worried, or him not doing me right. The other day he was in the shower and his phone went off. His Mom has been sick, so I looked to see if it was her. Instead it was his ex-girlfriend texting him a sexy message. John, we’ve been together for over two years, and it seems like they should be done with each other. I started to look through his other messages, and there were a bunch of sexy conversations with different people. He was being equally nasty back, and even suggesting sex stuff that he hasn’t wanted to do with me. When I confronted him, he got mad at me for snooping through his private stuff. He said he was just having fun “talking trashy” with other girls, and he hadn’t done anything wrong. When I told him I feel like he was cheating on me, he said I was over reacting. Was I?
Sad Girl
 
Dear Ms. Sad,
First off, there is a difference between trying to fix a goonball husband and a goonball boyfriend. The former is presumably worth the effort to educate and demand change in order to fix an injured marriage. The latter is potentially more difficult. Considering the sad fact that some people are on their best behavior in the early days of their relationship (as foolish as that is), boyfriend-for-two-years is already a couple of brewskies short of a six pack. I would be less than enthusiastic about future proper behavior of a boy/girlfriend who is, at the very least, unbelievably insensitive about taking good care of his mate early in the relationship. Rather than being embarrassed and apologetic about his nasty behavior, he blames you for being too sensitive? Sheesh. Are you over reacting? Actually, you're under reacting. Do you hear sirens blaring and red lights flashing? Me too. You wishing for a change of behavior obviously doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. It’s time to punt. If he’s upset, tell him to come to Texas and run for the U.S. House of Representatives. He can replace Ft. Worth’s Joe Barton’s soon to be vacant spot. He’ll fit right in.