You know, the pilgrims were probably brave and slightly crazy pioneers, but the more you learn about the history and subsequent demise of the Indians, the less cool the tall hats and tossing a fish into the corn stalks were. Not wanting to flush this holiday away due to my slightly aging cynicism, I instead decided to mutate Thanksgiving into a day of, well, thanksgiving. Simple rules of this day: no bitchin', no whining, no negativity. Rather, I remind myself, possibly 600 times throughout the day of the things I am grateful for. It's interesting that this takes a fair amount of effort, meaning I must be spending a lot of time the other 364 days complaining. Man! What's wrong wit' DAT picture?! Happy Thanksgiving all, especially my family. What numerous things are you contemplating about on this day of thanks?
[John Wayne voice please, nice and slow] Well pilgrim, did your Mamma and Daddy raise a hard workin' schmuck, or didja grow up to be a lazy bum? This is a day, li'l pilgrim, it’s time to work hard at thinkin' about what we're grateful 'bout. It could be your gran'ma, or pa, that nice teacher that shoulda flunked ya, put didn't, yer Ma and Pa who taught ya manners and how to work 'till the job was done, yer kids who come back to see you on holidays - you know: all sorts of things. Yer Ma and Pa didn't raise no snivelin' crybaby. Time to count yer blessin's today. And pass that turkey leg over here, pilgrim.