It wasn’t until many years later that I realized that he had been an accidental role model for me. He was big and tough, but tender and kind. He was pretty dang fearless: even when it seemed likely he was going to lose a fight, he wouldn’t quit; standing up for what was right was his priority. He probably complained too much, but in retrospect, he had pretty good reason to complain. After all, when their maiden journey to the moon exposed him and his crew to the potentially deadly “cosmic rays”, he really got the short end of the stick. Benjamin J. Grimm was transformed into an ugly, orange, rock pile looking guy. Although he was massively strong, he looked like crap. He even coined his own tragic superhero name, “The Thing”.
   Later, in a different part of New York, a nerdy teen got chewed on by a radioactive spider. Even with the “strength of ten men”, being able to walk up walls, and being able to shoot super strong web, Peter still  got screwed. He wanted to get friendly with the girls, but was either too shy or some web-slinging situation gummed things up. It was a minor league Shakespearean tragedy put into a comic book. Rather than innumerate all the comic book characters, it’s more interesting to note what they did for me. Or rather, did for us.

    Stan (“the man”) Lee, the creator and co-creator (along with Jack “king” Kirby) of a new type of superhero, just died November of 2018. He was responsible for far more than imagination and insight. He turned out to be our entertainer and inspiration for what good behavior was supposed to be. For an hour or two, we would be transported to an amazing world of good versus evil.  Science fiction that was both written and drawn, with strong undercurrents of behaviors we subconsciously admired. I doubt Stan Lee ever intended on creating something that would never be duplicated: the true Golden Age of comics. Many years later, as comic popularity waned, the comics tried to mirror what the writers thought the young public wanted: very little story or character development, lots of graphic violence, fewer drawn panels, and lots of huge breasts. Sheesh. Sometimes we long for new inspirations, not money-grubbing ass kissing. They reversed Marvel comics’ order of priorities: create stuff the teens will love and relate to, and the money will follow. If you do it just for the moola, the stories will predictably suck.

    Ask any former comic loving baby boomer for a comic story. Silver Surfer turning on his master Galactus to save humanity? Professor X (X-Men), a chrome-dome wheelchair bound guy who’s more powerful than all his X-Men he’s training? Reed Richards (Fantastic Four) risking his life to go back into the deadly Negative Zone to get something to save the life of his wife and unborn child? And just think, we haven’t even talked about the incredible array of ultra-powerful villains.

    So Stan Lee, I thank you for introducing me to the world of reading for entertainment. You introduced me to great people I wanted to be like. You made my younger years better and more important than had you not been there. So later on this evening, I may go out back and fire up a stogy (or cheroot, depending on which character  is inspiring me).  And if I see a stupid squirrel trying to break into my attic again, the neighbors may hear me yell, “It’s clobberin’ time!”
Excelsior.

Hey John,
 
My wife and I have been married for eleven years, and we would both like to know how can we enhance our marriage? We have no more problems than most, but things are somewhat monotonous and well, as you might call it: zombie-like. Do you have any ideas on how to make things better? Are we destined to eventually be just old roommates living with each other?  Rob
 
Dear Rob ~almost~ Zombie,
I believe it is a very insightful question. First of all, our long marriages (long friendships as well) will become somewhat predictable. We should have realistic expectations that all days will not be like our beginning days of our falling in love. That being said, we must be cautious not to use that reality as an excuse for lack of creativity and work. There are things we did naturally, and with no effort in our beginning days that have been forgotten due to complacency. For example, she may get looking mighty snappy as she departs for work, but rarely gets extra snappy looking for her husband (and obviously, vice versa). In our dating days, we used to want to give a good impression to our date, but then we get used to each other, and don't think about it so much. Additionally, a feature in our early days is to notice and comment on cool stuff our partner does. For an example: even though both parents are more than ready for their kids to go to bed, he will consistently go in and tuck the kids into bed. Or perhaps they say some good night prayers with them. Usually this becomes routine, and there is never a comment about it. However, an honest observation shared might be, “you know, no matter how tired you are, you always lovingly tuck the kids in”. Or he might comment: “when I was a kid, we never said night prayers with my parents. I have learned from your great example that it’s an important way to end the day with the kids”.

So here's the general philosophy: how would I see things, and how would I react if this were my second date with this great woman?  So I'll drive home from work and start pretending I am heading over to this cute, curly-haired girl's house for my date with her. How do I look? I hope I smell okay. She's invited me for supper, and has told me I can just park next to her in the garage. Cool. When I go in the back door, I can smell she's been cooking something up for me. Again: cool. After all, she's been working today, same as me, but she hurried home to make something for me. Yow! She's happy to see me, and I greet her with a kiss. This is almost too good to be true. If this really was our second date, how amazing would this be? How would I show my appreciation? Help her clean the kitchen afterwards? Sit around that evening and talk and talk and talk?
We begin our relationship with amazement and appreciation. Later, as we become used to our life, we seem to not give plenty of things a second thought. People fear divorces, but few consider a lifeless marriage. Most fall in love because the other person makes them happy they are there. Although it would not seem reasonable to expect every day is filled with appreciation of each other, we should work throughout our lives together to help the other person to be grateful they are with us.

So Rob, you can fight the Curse Of The Aging Married Zombies with loving work and mutual ongoing consideration for each other. We all eventually die some day, and I hope it’s in each other’s arms, in love.