John S. Sommer Counseling
  • Home
  • Qualifications
  • Location
  • Photos & Essays
    • Photos
    • Essays >
      • The Entertainment Director
      • Fathers and Daughters
      • Reframing: The Art of Looking Deeper
      • The Incredible Absorbing Man
      • The Little Old Man Stuck in My Head
      • The Lobster Tale
  • Links
  • Contact Us
  • Blog
  • Sound Bites

Stealing Molecules

9/20/2021

0 Comments

 
​ I suppose I could think of it as “people who’ve inspired me” but sometimes it’s more than that. I like to think I can extract a few molecules of greatness from them and inject them into myself. Take Gene for instance.
 
I was working at the local mental health clinic when one strange looking character walked by my door. An old guy, maybe early to mid-seventies, long silver hair, a black cowboy shirt, black pants, black boots and a little bolo tie. I figured it was my next new strange client.  He came back down the hall, walked into my little office, stuck out his hand and said,” Hello. You must be John Sommer, I’m doctor Eugene Tipps, your new psychiatrist for the Center.” He retired from his practice in Houston, traveled, and joined the rent-a-shrink program. We would have him for six months. We became fast friends. After, retirement, he went to Australia with $50.00 bucks and no credit cards.  He hitchhiked across the country and would cut wood, farm and whatever else he could do to earn his keep at the home of whoever invited him to stay.  I commented, “These folks must have wanted to adopt you!” He laughed and said, “True, most of the time. But I wouldn’t stay more than three days. Then I’d move on.” After six months he had his son wire him money, returned to the states and worked at various mental health clinics throughout the county.
 
I sat in a few of his women’s groups and beheld the master. They were the greatest groups I have ever seen in my life. He was like a great conductor directing his orchestra. He could lovingly shutdown an aggressive overly animated lady, and sweetly coax a shy one into a significant conversation. At 75, he was fascinating, hard working, and full of great abilities.
 
When I “extract some cool DNA” (mentally of course), I rarely want everything about the person.  This particular man was unbelievably hard working. He was Abe Lincoln honest and put a huge priority on loyalty. If you helped him out of a jam he would never forget it. Lucky for me I didn’t have to “steal” his DNA, as it was my Dad. We rarely want to turn out to be exactly like our parents, but we can focus on outstanding traits we would like to copy. There are a couple from Dad I want.
 
Job after job, one terrible supervisor after the next, I finally landed a great one. He was diplomatic, motivational, imaginative and full of knowledge. No angry ego to deal with. I remember being quite aware of his style of supervision and how he helped me to develop into a good counselor. I have tried to emulate it in later years with people I have supervised.
 
A woman came in sharing with me the “hopeless” alcoholic she had been married to for a number of years. I expected her to rant about his drinking problem and then ask me if I could help her to change him. Instead, she was full of compassion and love and instead asked if I could empower her to give her the extra strength she would need so she could continue to love and care for him until the end. When the end came many years later, she was his loving rock. I was taken aback by her loyalty and compassion she had for her tragic husband. I still think of her after all these years, but I’m not giving back the molecules I borrowed from her. I want those loving and dedicated attributes myself.
 
Rather than just getting older and becoming someone rather accidentally, it seems more logical, and certainly more exciting to try to become someone far greater. We can pay attention to co-workers, acquaintances, other parents, even strangers to provide us with ideas and inspirations to make our own lives more meaningful and enjoyable. I suppose the bottom line would be: expect more from our short lives. Keep your peepers open for inspirations.
 
John Sommer
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
7/20/21
0 Comments

    Categories

    All
    Behavioral
    Hey John Advice
    Other Stuff
    Parenting
    Relationships
    Semi Personal

    Picture

    About the Author

    I did NOT like writing stuff in school. However, now that it's voluntary, I like it. I'm still working on that attitude of mine.....

    Subscribe to John's Blog by email:

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


    Facebook

    Categories

    All
    Behavioral
    Hey John Advice
    Other Stuff
    Parenting
    Relationships
    Semi Personal


    Archives

    December 2021
    September 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015


    All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.