John S. Sommer Counseling
  • Home
  • Qualifications
  • Location
  • Photos & Essays
    • Photos
    • Essays >
      • The Entertainment Director
      • Fathers and Daughters
      • Reframing: The Art of Looking Deeper
      • The Incredible Absorbing Man
      • The Little Old Man Stuck in My Head
      • The Lobster Tale
  • Links
  • Contact Us
  • Blog
  • Sound Bites

All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.



Homework Hell

1/12/2018

0 Comments

 
Hey John,
My husband and I both work. Our hours are about 8 to 5pm. When we get home, it’s a lot of work to get supper made and the kids fed. Then there’s ‘Jared”, our 13 year old. He’s barely making it through 8th grade. He’s smart but lazy. While his younger sister likes doing school work, he misses a lot of homework assignments. He says he’s doing his homework and turning it in, so he doesn’t understand the incompletes he gets. How do you motivate your kid to do his homework?
Eighth Grader Mom
 
Dear E G Mom,
You can’t.
You could re-phrase your question: “How do I motivate my teenage kid to do something he hates to do”? Motivate? It doesn’t seem likely. However, that doesn’t mean there’s not a way to get the work done. Years ago, when I observed a father sit with his eighth grade son and later that evening with his sophomore daughter to do homework together, I thought in my young foolish little head, “That’s really dedicated to sit and do homework with your kids. But when they’re in college and Daddy’s not doin’ the homework for them, they’ll never make it.” This is the family that produced three Masters degrees and three Bachelor’s degrees. What I didn’t know is that it wasn’t doing homework for your kid, it was working along with them. When you work side by side with your child, it tells them that this is what you have to do to learn, or at the very least, pass. Also being taught is the very important lesson that this work is not beneath the dignity of the adult to do. When the foreman of a job assists the crew, he is telling them that this is honorable work. It’s certainly not beneath his dignity to do, nor should it be for his employees. To maintain that this is your kid’s work and not yours, it may not get done consistently.
Also, maintaining good rapport with the teachers means no bs-ing your parents. Homework or no homework, you can usually know by communicating with the teachers. Finally, remember, this is important personal time for a kid with his Mom or Dad. Maintaining a positive, motivated teaching mode rather than an impatient, tired parent forcing their kid to get it done increases the chances of improved school performance and attitude.
 
Sorry you’ve got a lot of extra work Eighth Grade Mom, but who deserves your ability to work hard more than you own kids? Besides, remember your original question?



Subscribe to John S. Sommer Counseling - Blog by Email


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Behavioral
    Hey John Advice
    Other Stuff
    Parenting
    Relationships
    Semi Personal

    Picture

    About the Author

    I did NOT like writing stuff in school. However, now that it's voluntary, I like it. I'm still working on that attitude of mine.....

    Subscribe to John's Blog by email:

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner


    Facebook

    Categories

    All
    Behavioral
    Hey John Advice
    Other Stuff
    Parenting
    Relationships
    Semi Personal


    Archives

    December 2021
    September 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015


    All persons and situations reflected in these writings are pretty much fictional, based on generalizations over the course of many years of counseling. Any actual events or settings have been changed, including names and other details, to protect client confidentiality.

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.