I am an eighteen year old girl living in a bad house. I never met my Dad, and my Mom ran off with another woman a few years ago, and I haven’t seen her since. I’m living with my Grandmother, and this is like living in a homeless shelter or a nut house. My thirty year old cousin and his meth-shooting girlfriend are taking one of the rooms in this house. Last month my boyfriend set up his PlayStation 4 in my room for us to play. A few days later, when I got back from school, it was gone. I asked everyone who took it, and of course no one admitted anything. Later I found the pawn ticket in my nasty cousin’s bedroom. When I showed it to my grandmother she said, “Well, for God’s sake, if you want it back, go pay off the pawn ticket!” I told her since she’s letting these skanks live in our house, she should pay for it. She got really mad at me and started yelling. I went down to the pawn shop, paid $90.00 to get it back, and brought it back to my boyfriend’s house. I’m worried he will stop liking me because he’s discovered what a screwed up family I have. Do you have any ideas to help me stop suffering?
White Sheep Of The Family
I know it’s not this easy, but four little letters will eventually bring you some peace of mind: M-O-V-E. Although you presumably have a few months before you graduate, and thus will likely have to stay in the Nut Hut for a while longer, start making plans for what will follow graduation. College bound? Make an appointment to see financial aid and see if they have loans, or better yet, grants for disadvantaged youth. There are also very well regarded vocational schools (one in Texas is TSTC). Job Corp can be cool, as can Americorp. Training for virtually free? What an opportunity. Going to stay local? See if you can access the bulletin board at your local college to see if there are other girls looking for roommates.
The bottom line is this: you can’t change dysfunctional people, especially when they see no need to improve. We can, however, succeed in our own lives. It takes some effort, but so what? Would you rather voluntarily live in misery? Not me. I hope not you either.
p.s. As a relationship enhancer, keep your boyfriend away from the House of Weirdness. You are right to be concerned he might get scared by the level of dysfunction at Granny’s House of Horrors. Additionally, don’t always use him as your therapist. There are lots of counselors to be found. Boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to have fun together, share dreams with each other, and generally enjoy each other’s company. Search for a counselor for counseling if you are so inclined.
Get after it, kid. You sound like you have a lot of potential. Break on thru to the other side.